Monday, May 28, 2012

Which of these Garden Ornaments is the most Tacky?


Sometimes an instance of bad taste can grab my attention as much as something pretty.

Recently, I was doing some shopping at one of my favourite local nurseries when I got distracted by some of the more outrageous garden ornaments on display.


Some of them are just mind-boggling! Who buys these things anyway?

I am a dog person, and I love my boys, 
but I assure you there are no plastic shelties in my garden. 

And if I ever did decide that a dog might add something to my garden, 
I promise you that I would never pick one like this. 

Look at this guy's tongue! And his eyes!

Does orange ever get any brighter?


I have enough trouble with the real thing, why the heck would I want a fake raccoon?

Or perhaps the fake raccoon is meant to scare off the real raccoons? 


Is this rude or so rude that it is funny?


This guy can't keep his pants on.


Now that's an attractive view!


Somebody is having a bad day!

Actually, he is so grumpy he's kinda cute.


For those of you who missed my post on last fall's clearance sales and love the sport, 
this hockey figure is still available. 

Even at a discount $38.39 no one seems to want to see him on "home ice".

And speaking of last year's leftovers....


there is still a huge selection of plastic gnomes lining store shelves.


Fake deer anyone? I was shocked when I checked out the price tag. $599.99 

Gosh, bad taste is expensive!


See no evil,
Hear no evil
Speak no evil!

Admirable sentiments, but chimps in a North American garden? Is that weird or is it just me?


Is there a gardening trend that I don't know about? Here is yet another garden chimpanzee. 

This time he is playing golf!


I was trying to think of a funny caption, but his face is plenty funny enough.

He is yours for only $489.99!


And to go along with your golfing chimp, why not get this hole-in-one garden bench.


It even has a golf ball embedded in the seat back. Yours for $395.99!


When it comes to garden ornaments, what do you think qualifies as just plain old tacky?

61 comments:

  1. Makes me wonder at who comes up with the idea to even make these.

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  2. Oh my oh my oh my…..so much yuckiness to choose from!! Tackiest? Definitely the coloured dwarfs. The neon wind chimes a close second. Rude and ugly: the gargoyle/dwarfs picking their noses, etc. All the rest of your examples are Honourable Mentions. :) Thx Jennifer - that was fun!

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    1. Astrid, it was fun to put together!

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  3. Hard to say... but I think I have to go with the plastic gnomes. No self-respecting gnome would ever want to appear in plastic, I think. Your pansies are BEAUTIFUL! purrs

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    1. Nerissa, On the weekend we went to the Christie Antique Show which is the largest outdoor antique show in Ontario.These pansies were planted in an old tool box and displayed on a dresser. I am not sure how practical this container planting was, but it was sure pretty!

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  4. They are all tacky but I kind of like the nose picker!

    S
    xo

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  5. There is a yard we pass on the way to soccer games which probably has every one of these in their yard and more. Years ago, we didn't think it could get any tackier,but they proved us wrong. I pity their neighbors.

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  6. The golfing chimp looks plain scary!

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  7. It is really hard to pick...they are all so horrible and some of them are rather expensive. At least there are no planted toilets!

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    1. Planted toilets! Horrifyingly tacky!

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  8. Mwahaha - love these but would never own one, very funny to laugh at though..! :-D

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  9. My favorite is the silouette of people bending over in the garden. Why, oh why, would anyone want to mimic that?

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    1. Heather, I keep those silhouettes in mind ever time I bend over in the front garden.

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  10. I'll bet this blog post was fun to research! I wonder the same thing you do. If you or I went to a company to try and sell one of these ideas to them, they'd laugh us right out of the place. Yet, SOMEONE had some idea of success with them. Blows my mind...

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  11. I think they're all hideous!! The creature picking his nose is so rude it's funny but I'd never want it in my yard. I wonder if anyone ever bought the giant gorilla you featured last year. I always think of that post when I'm considering adding something ornamental/artistic to my yard. :o)

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    1. Tammy, I somehow missed the larger concrete figures, so I couldn't tell you if someone took pity on that gorilla and gave him a home. Do you remember the garden cannon? I also wonder if someone ever bought it.

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  12. Oh dear, its amazing what some people put in their gardens isn't it! Mind you, when I made a few woodcarvings for my garden here, my daughter told me they were just up-market garden gnomes! Although seeing all the gnomes that you have photographed I have to disagree with her!

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  13. Tacky, tacky, tacky. Awful. Horrid, every last one, all except the little cement hockey player. I want that one. My birthday is this summer and you can send it to me and I will proudly put it in my garden and enjoy the sweet little puck handler. Thanks!

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    1. Laurrie, If the hockey player gets any deeper a discount I may be able to afford the postage to send him your way.

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  14. Hilarious post - but you missed the pink flamingos!

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    1. Karen, are you surprised to know that there were plastic flamingos right next to the plastic deer! I just didn't catch them in my shot.

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  15. Everyone's taste is so so different heh. My sis loves cute...angels, children, small animals. It suits her style and the person I know and love, perfectly. But my style...a bit on the rustic, the rusty, often with birding influence plus a little drama or even Nova Scotia folk art style.

    It's good we all have different sensibilities in our garden...artistic or not artistic in other's eyes ;-) It's all good.

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    1. All fun aside, I do agree that it is your garden and everyone should please themselves first. I have some folk art in my garden too, Bren. I guess some people would find it tacky. To me anything handmade has charm.

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  16. Is it even possible to choose a winner???? They are all equally tacky in my opinion. I used to think the garden gnome was the worst, but you have proven that wrong!!! lol

    xox

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  17. I have always said that bad taste is better than no taste at all, but I think these may change my view.

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  18. This was a hilarious post! I too wonder who buys these things and why spoil a lovely plant by placing a blood-shot eyed dog next to it. As for the tackiest garden ornament of all...in my book it's the chubby gardener leaning over revealing her bloomers or a full moon. YIKES!

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    1. Teresa, I always keep this in mind when I am weeding in the front garden!

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  19. Yes there are some garden ornaments that I like but none of these would be on that list........sorry and the prices they charge for some of them is ridiculous who pays hundreds of dollars for a garden ornament

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    1. The high prices are a shocker aren't they. One generally expects good taste to be expensive!

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  20. I have a cousin that can take tacky and make it beautiful. She had rabbits (fake ones) and all kinds of things in her living room, yet somehow, it was put together so creatively, it was actually quite lovely. Really! I know it sounds horrible, but somehow it was enchanting. She just has the touch. I think she could take any of these and place them in a garden in just the right way for it to be oohed and ahhed over!

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    1. Holley, I do agree that, used with wit and humour, even tacky things can have merit.

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  21. Ha! I think I have a soft spot for the 'so ugly it's cute' category! While antiquing in Warrenton, I discovered this ugly little clay figurine. I'm still not really sure what he is supposed to be but I instantly fell in love with him. I posted a pic of him on my blog...don't think anyone else was smitten for the lack of comments! Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder!

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    1. Cat, Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder and that diversity is actually a good thing. Otherwise we would all have the exact same garden.

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  22. Fun post! I can't put stuff like this out in my garden because I will forget that it is there and it will scare the socks off of me later. I have one large owl up on the chicken coop to scare away rats(it doesn't) and sometimes at night I look out the window and see its silouette.
    These would all scare me both in daylight and at night.
    I love your new header. You must be the garden header queen. They are all so nice.
    David/:0)

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    1. David, Any marketer would tell you to stick with a single header in an effort to "brand" your blog. Perhaps it is foolish, but I love to change things up. It is symptomatic of my love of images.

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  23. Well there were certainly an array of odd, strange, tacky, and butt ugly lawn decorations you showed. For me that Golfing Chimp would scare me.
    My mom has little deer, raccoons, rabbits, squirrels, frogs etc...in her flower beds. I have a few frogs (mostly given to me) but I'm not big on too many in my flowers. To each their own I guess.

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    1. Ida, Everyone should please themselves first!

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  24. So very funny. I can picture these goblin guys in my garden, but the dog, who the heck would want that.

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  25. WOW...there are not enough words to describe how revolting these are. It makes me wonder how hideous the people are that would spend a small fortune on all that creepiness! One really just has to have a sense of humor about these things. Looks like you had fun at the nursery finding these "treasures".

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    1. Karin, It was fun to put this together!

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  26. Oh my! LOL, thanks for the laugh. Unfortunately I don't have a garden here in Scotland. Sigh! We never had any ornament in my parents' garden, back in Italy, coz my dad says "flowers and veggies are the best ornaments you can have in a garden". :)

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  27. OH, now there are some Really Unusual garden ornaments in this post...I wonder if I could find some room for a chimp playing golf somewhere? (But I can't talk too loud since I have a few 'unusual ornaments' of my own i.e. tree grates and light shade planters, just to name a few.)

    Love this post, it made my day!

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    1. Karen, Your ornaments sound very creative and charming to me!

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  28. Lol, what a funny post, Jennifer! Of all of these, I'd say the fake deer is the least tacky, but who would want to plunk down $600 for a fake one, when most of us struggle to keep the real ones out of our garden?:) I admit to having two garden gnomes...only because my best friend insisted everyone has to have at least one. But they're usually hidden behind some plants:)

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    1. Actually Rose, I have seen a few gnomes that I like and can see in used in a tasteful garden. Good point on the deer!

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  29. Now that is a tough one, but I am voting for the gnomes, and I like gnomes too. None would find a home in any garden I am associated with though.

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  30. Those chimpanzees are kind of freaking me out! I would be worried to stumble upon that one with the golf club!

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  31. The gargoyles are halfway ok.... the rest of those goodies are just bizarre. The St. Bernard is just creepy.

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  32. Hand on heart I have no suck tack in the garden but might consider the gargoyle griffin since that made me smile instead of cringe. All this garden tack is made even worse in multiples.

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    1. PatioPatch, Too much of anything is a bad thing!

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  33. I have friends who think it is very funny to purchase the tacky ornaments, such as plastic pink flamingoes, and stealthily place them prominently in the dead of night on another friend's lawn as a gag. Luckily I have never been the recipient of such a practical joke!

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    1. Very funny practical jokers Jayne! Of course the ultimate revenge would be to discover a new found "appreciation" for the pink flamingoes and to make sure they were prominently displayed every time the joker friend popped over.

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  34. I am dying to know what garden nursery you go to. I have never seen so much bad taste, LOL.

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  35. Patty, These "treasures" await you at Humber Nursery.

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  36. At a white elephant gift exchange I received a whirligig type of ornament similar to the ones in the first photo but without the chimes. I hung it in the persimmon tree to scare away the squirrels. It didn't work! This was an amusing post!

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    1. Dorothy, I guess even squirrels have taste!

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  37. Allowing them in the right surroundings can make all of the difference to how you feel.

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  38. No tacky yard should be without a pink flamingo.

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